No lies. Just love.: So I should be studying...

But who likes to study? I don't.

This post is gonna be some really random ...okay? Glad you're excited.

First of all, before I start this topic - please don't say "I'm sorry." Because I'm not sorry.
My Granny passed away on Saturday...Although I've experienced more death in my few short years here on earth than most people do in their lifetime...I have never seen anyone take their last breath.
And to be quite honest with you, it was strangely beautiful.
It was incredible to see someone willfully, and peacefully let go.
My granny was fucking hilarious, strong, and kind of a hard bitch sometimes. I remember staying weekends at her house with my cousins; eating cinnamon toast and watching disney movies or playing Donkey Kong all damn day. And let me tell you - Granny was a BADASS at some Donkey Kong.
She would sing me this song:
"Mares eat oats and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy. Kids will eat ivy too, wouldn't you?"
pronounced
"Maresy dotes and dosey dotes and little lambs eat ivy. Kids'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?"
Took me YEARS to figure that one out.

Basically, these past two weeks have been tough to say the least. And today, I've been feeling pretty guilty..which is normal I guess. It took this sort of thing to make me realize how much I really love my Dad's side of my family...I think avoiding them was the easiest way to avoid the absence of my dad...
Let's be honest, that's pretty shitty and selfish.
You can't change the past, you can only change today, and I've made a resolution to spend more time with them. Because even though they're bat shit crazy, I can totally relate to it. And even though they talk about my dad all the time and I hate it...I need to stop avoiding it. I need to DEAL. I need to see my other half. I need to find myself in them. Despite all this, I think they're wonderful, hilarious and inspiring...and THE most giving people I've ever experienced.

That was really nice to get out. Thanks for listening.

On some lighter notes: